When our Benjamin was little he preferred to sit with Kelly and me in the sanctuary each Sunday. If the pastor asked if anyone wanted to accept Christ, Ben would raise his hand. If the pastor asked if anyone wanted healing for back pain, Ben would raised his hand. If the pastor asked if anyone wanted healing for a heart condition, Ben would raise his hand. Pretty much, Ben would raise his hand for any and all healing, salvation, requests for prayer etc. After awhile I found myself discreetly trying to put his arm down.
One Sunday I found myself questing ME and MY actions and not little Benjamin. Who cares if he as a heart asking for all of these things and if he asks Christ into his life 572 times before the age of 7. Whether he was 4 or 7, he had a heart that always wanted more. He wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. He was the little child that would freely raise his hands in worship and there was nothing in his heart or head that told him that he couldn’t ask for more…and that he shouldn’t.
It wasn’t long after this season with Benjamin that we had a guest speaker and he offered to pray with anyone after service that just wanted more of God. If you wanted a more real relationship or wanted deeper understanding he would be waiting upfront to pray with you. The church that we attended at the time was pretty big and as they dismissed church many of us were headed to Sunday School to pick up our children. As Kelly and I were making our way to pick the kids up, I looked back and I kept thinking about what had just been offered. I thought about how we were all offered more and 99% of the congregation were heading to pick up their children, go get coffee, talk to friends or head home for lunch.
We were just offered more of God and most of us walked away. The rest of the day I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t believe that most people in the church passed up on more too. Are we a group of people that say we want more of God until it gets in the way of lunch time, time with friends, sleep (the list is endless)?
Can you imagine what our lives/ gifts / churches / marriages etc. would be like if we opened our hands and just said, “I want more”? Not more money, more clothes, more of a home, more of a car, more of a career….more of Jesus. All those years ago I shared with Kelly everything that I had been thinking and how I didn’t want to pass up opportunities again when the Lord is offering more.
What was the Lord was thinking that day? I imagined Him thinking that he wants so much for us. He wants to take our pain. He wants to direct our paths. He desires closer relationships with us. He wants to restore marriages and families. He wants to show us how to use our gifts. He wants to give us more and we often walk right past.
All of this was many many years ago but I still think often of the impact that moment had on my heart and I believe I have made different decisions over the years because of it. My heart was changed and because of that my relationship with Christ was changed. And as for our little Benjamin? Well, he is no longer little and he still has that tender heart for Jesus. His heart to want all that the Lord wants to offer him has taught me a lot.
Are you tired and weary?
Do you feel depleted or lost?
Do you need a huge exhale in your life right now?
Do you want to know how to use your gifts?
Does your marriage need saving?
Do you want more of Jesus?
Open your hands and just ask!
What a beautiful story of childlike faith. Thank you for sharing…
Beautiful memory and reflection and lesson. A perfect example of following one’s heart and the effect on us of seeing someone who does so.