I would like to start off by telling everyone that I am not excessively clumsy.

I was not drinking the day when this story begins (at least not excessively).

I don’t usually jump up out of my chair to do yard work (at least not excessively).

We can now proceed.

Last Monday was a gorgeous day here in Colorado.

The sun was out, the birds were chirping and all was right with the world.

We went for a hike on a new trail.

We had a picnic lunch in the backyard.

It was such a nice day that I recommended that the boys (meaning not me) move the front porch furniture to the pergola.

I was kicking back and soaking up the rays.

After the boys made the third trip down the hill with the furniture I decided to pretend I wasn’t really lazy and help.

NOTICE….this was my grave mistake.

Never make this mistake yourself (you can thank me later).

As I was helping my husband move the furniture to the pergola I bumped hard into one of our low rose bushes.

I didn’t really think anything of it until my left leg started to really hurt a few minutes later.

When I looked down there were two pieces of wood  lodged in my leg.

Serious.

I love how nothing hurts until you see it.

The first piece came out easily and the second was like a big splinter that took more work.

I thought I was going to barf.  Really.

I spent the next hour icing it and keeping it up because the pain was so intense.

I actually felt like the biggest baby because it hurt so bad.

I have had three babies.

One 9lb 10oz baby, one emergency c-section and another c-section.

Come on…suck it up.

The next day Kelly left for a trip.

By the middle of the day my leg was red and hot to the touch.

I was telling a friend about it and she told me to go get it looked at right away.

I kind of blew her off and then she started talking about fevers, vomiting, infections traveling to your heart.

Great…she had to bring up dying.

Now I HAD to go to the doctor.

I can’t die from a splinter!

The shame!

With my three children in tow I head to urgent care.

(This is the first circle drawn by the urgent care Dr. to monitor the infection)

Yes, I had an infection.

Two in fact.

One of the surface and one internally.

He then proceeded to try and examine my wound.

The pain was so intense that he had to give me anesthesia shots right into the infection.

Truly not my favorite thing that has ever happened to me.

The next was even better.

He pulled out a scalpel.

I seemed confused.

Was that FOR ME?

Why yes….it was.

He then proceed to open my leg to see if I had any wood pieces left in my leg.

Let me give you a medical lesson right here.

Did you know that vegetative substances are one of the most dangerous substances to get lodged in your body.

They are full of bacteria.

Nice.

He couldn’t find anything.

With a tetanus shot and my prescription for antibiotics… I left.

I will now skip the next two hours when I am driving around down, trying to fill a prescription, no pain killer, with my kids and crying like a baby.

It was really one of my best moments.

The next day my leg looked better.

By the afternoon the infection had significantly spread.

By the next day it had even spread more

We went to the emergency room.

My leg was cut back open but this time deeper.

MRI to see if they could find the wood.

Antibiotics right into the blood stream.

I was diagnosed with Cellulitis.

Don’t talk to a nurse that knows about it.

They say things like dead tissue and amputation.

Not the best pick me up I was needing.

Give the girl a break.

Let’s talk about the new dress I just got from JCrew…come on!

By the next day the infection had continued to spread and my leg was turning YELLOW.

We went BACK to the ER.

How was I to know that yellow is good.

HOW?

I was remember the dead tissue lady.

They did give me another dose of antibiotics intravenously because it was still spreading.

(Sorry if this grosses you out.  I just wanted to show the only photo I have that shows all the different times the infection spread)

1am I crawl into bed.

The next day my leg is looking really good.

Still hurts horribly because of the incision but the red is going down.

At this point I also have cankles from all of the swelling and antibiotics.

I don’t really pull off cankles very well.

Don’t you know it that hard things come when you seem to have a million things going on!

I am in the middle of an e-course, I am getting ready to leave to teach an art course in California and I have had tickets for MONTHS to take Maddy to see “Wicked”.

So, on Saturday I wrapped my leg up well, drove to Denver and we saw “Wicked”.

When she turned to me as soon as it was over and said, “Mom, that was AMAZING”.. I knew it was worth the throbbing pain inside my boots.

I pretty much hobbled to the car and we drove straight home.

The infection is going away and I have no idea what my leg will end up looking like

I will be wearing a bandage for awhile and I have an appointment this week with an infectious disease Dr.

Can you even believe it?

Splinters.

From a rose bush.

1. Those rose bushes are getting yanked out ASAP

2. I don’t ever want roses as a gift again

3. Yard work is dangerous and I will be staying away.

Please tell me that your past 7 days were better than mine.

Please!

I do still have my leg and that is a HUGE plus:-)

Cankles and all.