Anxious Heart

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On Friday I went in for a routine yearly check up.

During my breast exam the doctor said she found two lumps.

One in each breast.

It is amazing how the mind can go to so many scary places so quickly.

Within seconds I had this imagine in my mind of what cancer looks like.

What it would look like on me.

I don't know about you guys but within seconds I had myself bald, with a bandanna..doing the Avon three day walk….seriously….what is wrong with me?

They wanted me to get a mammogram and ultrasound within the next week or so and get it checked out.

OK…obviously she had never met me before.

Within the next two weeks?

I don't think so.

I kindly explained that I would not be able to handle a two week wait to get the lumps checked out.

They checked if I could get in that day and it was not possible.

The nurse told me to go down the hall myself and see if I could get in.

I first stopped in the bathroom to pull my self together a little.

I still had tears in my eyes when I asked…or kindly begged πŸ™‚ to be seen that day.

They looked again and told me that there truly no openings that day.

The earliest they could get me in was 9:30 on Monday morning.

I made it to the car, closed the door….and cried.

REALLY cried.

I don't know when I got to this age.

This age when parents die.

Friends get sick with cancer.

Couples get divorced.

Friends lose their baby.

This age…when I go in for a routine exam and they find something that doesn't feel right.

Am I THAT age?

I am.

This day was just another reminder that the older we get the more REAL life gets.

My friend that has lost a father said it the best…we lose our innocence.

So I drove home.

Home to a husband and three children.

I had such an anxious heart.

I didn't tell almost anyone.


I did walk next door to my friend and neighbor's home.

My friend's sister (who is also my friend) was there…and they knew by looking at me that something was wrong.  Do you know what they did?  They instantly took my hands and prayed for me.


They knew how scary this was.

I hope you have friends that will pray with and for you.

That prayer did wonders for me and I truly had such a peace for the rest of the weekend.

I had moments when I would begin to be fearful.


I would be anxious.

I would be scared.

For the most part I tried to stay positive.

As I was going through the newspaper this weekend there was a quote….

"It is easy to be brave from a safe distance." Aesop

Isn't this true!! It is a lot easier when I am praying for someone else and listening to their pain.

Kelly left early Sunday morning for a week long trip to DC.

Perfect timing.

Last night I was alone with the children and I began to worry again.

Here I was the night before my exam and I hadn't even lined up anyone to watch the children.

I truly didn't want to tell anyone.

I finally caved and called a friend that not only said she would take the children…she prayed with me…and she then prayed with her husband after we got off the phone.

I have to tell you that this morning I knew that so many people were praying for me because I had such a peace.

The only time I was nervous was after the mammogram tech did the first exam because she was so hard to read.

I then had to go to the waiting room and wait for the ultrasound.

As I looked around the room I not only realized how young I was compared to so many others….

I also realized that they all probably had anxious hearts too.

All hoping for the best.  All uncertain what the tests would hold.

I have a family history of cysts in the breast.

I was hoping that this would be the worst.

Hoping that was what the doctor felt.

They then called me back for the ultrasound.

After the first breast the tech told me that everything was fine in the first breast.

She told me my mammogram was clear too.

I asked if she only meant for the first breast…and she said no…both breasts looked good.

No cancer…not even a cyst!

Tears starting streaming down my face.

Me…breasts open to the world, woman still doing the ultrasound and me crying.

Tears of pure joy!

She told me that I had wonderful fatty breasts…perfect for seeing cancer and anything else going on.

I told her that I knew a little fat would help me out someday!!!

There was also an extra tech in the room and she needed to practice so they did a little more work on me for her "education".

I told her that this was the most action my breasts had seen in a long time!!

So…my anxious heart.

Tonight I am so grateful that my tests came back that I am fine.

I am also reminded that this body is a gift.

Respect it.  Take care of it. 

What I also know is that possibly one of the ladies I sat with in the waiting room is crying tonight because tomorrow a whole new world opens to her that she never wanted.

I will pray for her and I hope you will too!

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  1. lissa

    Jeanne! I’m so sorry you went through all of that! But I’m so thankful that everything is going to be fine! I’m so glad you had friends who prayed immediately which I’m sure brought you comfort and peace. many, many times I’ve had to deal with hard things while Neal was out of town. That is just the worst! So glad you’re feeling better!

  2. Jackie

    I’m so glad everything was fine, but so sad that you had to worry at all. You are blessed to have such amazing friends who prayed with you!

  3. Rachel

    Jeanne!! I am so relieved everything is ok, my heart was anxious for you just reading this!! So glad everything came back looking good! Sorry you had to go through that!

  4. jamie

    Thank God! It is a very Scary Experience and I think when we become Wives and Mothers it makes the stress even worse. So Glad it turned out well too. I just made my Mammogram appt today. Jamie

  5. Erin

    Lord we thank you and praise you for these positive results.
    I’ve been in your shoes. Something not quite right at the exam. Waiting and waiting. Mammogram and ultra sound. More waiting. Everything is fine. I am so glad you are ok. After holding the hand of a friend while she died from breast cancer…I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
    Praying with you for the women whose journey has just begun.

  6. mel

    you stinker… I could of prayed with you…
    today a woman came in the Barn passing out tulips to every woman thier because her friend Laura died one year ago today, she promised she would remind women how special they were … every year on this day… I was undone.
    Please know the privilige I would have praying with you and for you… you are a treasure.( read my post about my dad .. last one)

  7. LouBoo

    Oh my goodness – you post resonates so much with me – I had virtually identical an experience last November. Going from ‘care-free’ to feeling like the worry is going to crush you in a matter of minutes. I too could not wait two weeks – lasted about 4 days before begging for another appointment. But those 4 days were seriously the longest of my life! I was fine in the end. Thank God you are all OK…it gives a new lease of life doesn’t it? x

  8. lorraine lewis

    I am so happy for you Jeanne and I can only imaging how frightened you were. We have two women in our church who have discovered cancer- both with two young babies, it is the saddest thing ever. Truly you are blessed.

  9. Julie M.

    I will! I’m sorry I hadn’t read this post before commenting on your other blog. Oh, Jeanne, what a weekend! Phew! Praise the Lord!
    : )
    Julie M.

  10. The power of prayer is a wonderful thing Jeanne. I am so glad that everything came back clear ~ I was scared for you reading down hoping and praying even now when the worst part is over for you. We do lose our innocence when something like this happens ~ losing a friend way to young due to an accident or a parent that was only 61 ~ too young to go. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and know that God is holding you in his arms. xo

  11. Ronda Volker

    Amazing amazing post Jeanne, I always read your blog but this is my first post…. I could so relate and you worded it so profoundly. Kind regards Ronda

  12. Jen@thecottagenest

    So glad you had good news Jeanne. I have lumpy breasts and have been through all of this twice. It’s so hard and I always think the worst too. I’m glad you are surrounded by such wonderful people.

  13. Martha

    Oh wow…Jeanne…I am so happy for you that you are okay and so happy that you had those prayers to carry you through… nothing is as important to have that kind of support!

  14. Theresa Hein

    Jeanne, I am so happy for you and yours that everything is fine… seems like such a simple word after all you’ve just been through. I’m sorry to say that yes, I go to that place in my mind sometimes too. My husband always says ‘it’s going to be fine’ and I know that but I’ve recently had some tests done and I did go to ‘that’ place and I wanted out of there and fast! The fact that you had those wonderful friends to pray for you helps so much. Take care and enjoy your new lease on life! Theresa

  15. Suzen

    Dear Jeanne, I had just written a blog post about humility and gratitude after the hurricane here in NY last week and the power outage and destruction. You are so right about the loss of innocence. I was with my daughter for her 5 month ultrasound with her first baby, planning our lunch in the city and Bam! We learned that he would not survive until birth. No lunch, heartbreak only. Then her husband attempted a violent suicide a year later. Bam! Last year my husband became unemployed. Bam! This is just a snapshot of my life and yet I STILL need to be waked up and reminded of the fragility of life and the folly of my own plans. Yet, there is comfort in knowing that however things go, we are not alone. Blessings to you…

  16. alee b.

    beautiful post…
    May we ALL realize that our lives truly are a gift and in HIS hands!
    blessings to you …

  17. beth gales

    Oh wow, I have been through something like this and the terror is real…thank goodness for faith and friends and family to pull us through!

  18. Lis

    Jeanne, Thank you so much for your transperency! We ARE at that age. I think of that too and it seems so bizarre. Life was once so simple. God is so great, though and with every challenge, we have the opportunity to really see his loving hands at work in our lives. Just think of the amazing godly friends that aren’t afraid to pray boldly at an moment on your behalf! So thankful everything is OK with you!

  19. Traci

    thank God your breasts are perfect jeanne. it is scary. yes, we are at that age. it kind of sucks. i don’t feel like i should be. but we’ll make it through.

  20. staceyyaculastudio

    You brought me to tears…I can only imagine your anxious heart.
    My father died when I was a girl …. one of my worst fears is to die & leave my children with the same ache in their hearts.
    You are so blessed that no matter what the results you are surrounded by wonderful people to support you and love you.
    I am truly glad that you are okay, our world needs more people like yourself that after such tears of joy would think of complete strangers who might have life changing results.

  21. Tricia

    Oh Jeanne, I am so thankful that everything is ok. Bless your heart. That is alot to deal with. Your picture is beautiful by the way! Thank you for sharing this!

  22. Becky @ Farmgirl Paints

    Ah life…that is why heaven is so sweet. Someday we won’t have to worry. There will be no loss, no tears, no pain or sickness. Something to look forward too. So glad you are safe and sound. Waiting is so hard and fear is torture. I love you girl.

  23. Carmen

    I am crying now. I know you had to be so scared. I would have been. Thank God that you are okay. Thank you for the reminder today.

  24. paige

    oh sweet jeanne, first of all i’m so thankful all is aok with you!
    secondly, i can see you just trying to be the big girl, the brave girl while all those anxious thoughts were fluttering all around…i can so relate….thank you for sharing
    i know you are feeling blessed today!

  25. Janet

    Jeanne — so happy to hear that everything turned out alright. Have been in your shoes and they are scary shoes indeed. Take care.

  26. susan

    so glad all is ok. those are scary moments but i can’t think of anything better than prayer to help, have a nice week πŸ™‚ susan

  27. mkg

    So thankful that you know how to lay your anxious heart in God’s hands and that you have precious friends who go with you to Him in prayer. And so touched that your heart takes you into the realm where others carry their anxious thoughts and you care for them, pray for them. Rejoicing that you are OK!

  28. Julie Ann

    Oh Jeanne… I felt so many emotions while reading this post. I am so happy everything’s ok!!! I will pray for you that it stays that way… and also for all other women who are going through this same situation. Thank you for sharing yourself!

  29. amy

    beautiful images, jeanne! so glad i could read this before we go to class today. again i am so relieved with you, but you are right. some woman went home yesterday with a different answer. i love you. i can pray.

  30. beth

    i am sitting here in tears and am so happy to know that you are well and that you have such a network of support , family , friends, and FAITH –
    what a blessing .. I am thinking of you and sending you a hug.!!! We really need to plan the love bomb… seriously… time goes to fast not to share it with friends !!!

  31. meg duerksen

    just this week i told craig i am tired of being a grown up.
    our friend needs a heart transplant….another had an affair…a baby died…cancer is everywhere…africa!!!
    i want to be innocent again.
    sometimes it just feels to big to carry.
    i am so happy that your story turned out joyful.
    God is in control…good or bad. thankful for that every minute.

  32. Amy Jo Axe

    Wow! I am so sorry to hear that you went through that, but so happy that it is all okay! How scary to go through. Thanks for sharing that story. It shows everyone how important exams really are. I can only imagine how anxious you were. They may have needed to knock me out! Love you tons and so glad that all is well.

  33. tara

    Thank God you are ok. That is such a scary situation and I completely understand your anxious heart. God held you in his hand, didn’t he. And, you are right, we are that age, when things get to be too adult and too messy and you are also right that one woman in the room may not make it through the next year…life=messy. Keep getting your mammograms, they really do save lives. Love you~ Tara

  34. Wendy

    So glad you are alright afterall. I imagine you had some rough days and sleepless nights. I know I would have. Someday…. there will be no pain and fear. Have a lovely day!

  35. Michelle

    So relieved that everything is fine. What a scary thing to go through and how wonderful that you had special people to stand by your side and pray for you.

  36. Sabrina

    How scary for you. That is wonderful that you are surrounded by such great friends who will pray for you!
    I’m glad things turned out okay!!!

  37. Shannon

    So scary you left me crying but I think today and hopefully every day forward I will do my best to remember how lucky I am to be here and be healthy with a healthy family!

  38. sheila R

    I am so thankful that everything is alright. I too went through a similar experience and anxious heart. Sending prayers your way.

  39. Lemonade Makin' Mama

    On sweetie, I’m so glad you are fine… what a scary thing! A very close friend of mine recently went through the exact same thing. She was freaking out. Your life just flashes before your eyes. Glad it’s good though.

  40. susie harris

    Oh thank goodness! I had that same scare a few years back. It happened they day after my 100 yr old Grandmother passed away. I didnt want to tell anyone because we all seemed so sad with the loss of my our loved one. Who needed extra worry during that time. My husband and I prayed like nobodys business and the Lord blessed me with just cysts…Oh praise HIM!! ((hugs)) Susie

  41. jess

    no words…..just awe. an amazing post that will touch so many, thank you for sharing your experience.

  42. Nancy

    So happy everything was ok, I’m in tears. You are so right that our bodies are a gift from Him and we must take care of it. I was anxious just reading this for you, I can only imagine. I had a simliar scare with my ovaries a few years ago. My primary told me it was most likly ovarian cancer. I waited 4 days to see a new OBGYN and he could not rule out cancer so I had to wait a month before surgery and going in I was so afraid that I would wake up from surgery a cancer patient. I know what you mean when you pictured yourself bald, etc. I went there everyday. Turns out, just a cyst the sixe of a cantaloupe! Praise God. I will pray for you and those ladies who’s stories did not turn out like ours. Sending you a big hug! XOXO Nancy

  43. Cami

    your post brought back so many emotions. it has been almost a year that i was where you were at, but my news took a different turn. so thankful that your news was good. thanks for sharing.

  44. Courtney Walsh

    Oh, Jeanne,
    wow. Reading this, my eyes just welled with tears. It is so much more difficult to be older and make grown-up decisions and realizations. It’s so much harder to know that your decisions impact other people now and what if we make the wrong ones? It’s hard to see our parents start to get “old” and lose people we love.
    I can imagine the anxiousness of your heart. KNowing in your head where you need to cast your cares but not really being able to do it all the time. Thank God for people who pray with you. I want to be that kind of friend. To turn to HIM first. Unashamed.
    Thank you for sharing this. My anxious heart appreciates it.

  45. karlene

    I’ve got tears, I am grateful for you. It makes me think that maybe, just maybe, that person you are praying for……….doesn’t have anyone to pray for them, and then you were there………I will join you as I am sure many are………may we be the difference this person needs. all my best!!

  46. Sarah

    How very wonderful to know that you are doing well. My mom’s doctor found a lump in her breast a week and a half ago. It was decided she needs a biopsy and it is scheduled for this Thursday. My heart is aching for her, especially since I cannot be with her – I am in MO and she is in CA. No matter what happens I know that through love, prayers and kind thoughts she will be okay.

  47. Knitnana

    Beautiful post. And wonderful that all is well! I had a heart attack 10 years ago at age 43 (bypass following), so I know how stunning the verdict can be.
    We should never take anything for granted…

  48. J Sorensen

    I am so glad everything is fine for you. It is truly amazing how fast our brains and emotions can go into overdrive, and think of the worst case possible. I lost my father at an early age, and would not wish that on any child. It altered my beliefs and innocence in so many different ways.I too recently lost a co-worker and friend, and am beginning to realize I too am at that “age”. I pray more than I ever have, and keep God close in my thoughts all day. May God continue to bless you. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

  49. Debra

    Oh I am so relieved everything was okay. That must be the worst feeling in the world when the Dr finds a lump let alone two! Praise God you felt His peace with all your prayer warriors.

  50. Destiny (The Ruffled Nest)

    Okay, so you’ve got me crying…REALLY crying…I’m a bit sensitive this time of the month and you have not helped LOL On a serious note….I am SO extremely glad that everything turned out okay for you! Thank you for sharing your story…The week that I delivered Bailey, my iron levels were REALLY low to the point that I could have died on the delivery table from losing blood…SO, my doc had me go to a CANCER CLINIC and get hooked up to an iron IV for 5 hours. I was in the room with cancer patients who were receiving their chemo. treatments. I talked with them for hours and they were so uplifting and had such positive spirits for being in that situation. To this day, I am reminded of that day and of how lucky I am to be in good health and I PRAY that I never have to be in their situation. I don’t think I’d be strong enough to go through it. Okay, the book has reached its end : )

  51. Leah C

    I am so sorry you had an anxious heart…but soooo relieved and happy for you that it all turned out ok! Life is so very precious. We all need to cherish it & take better care of ourselves:) Wishing you well…

  52. the domestic fringe

    You have a beautiful way of laying your heart out into words on the page. I’m glad everything was good and that you are ok. You are certainly blessed to have the friends you do.

  53. Rachel

    Jeanne…SO glad to hear that everything is ok with you…God is good!!! Guess this means the hubs will have to take you out to celebrate! Just for kicks….order the lobster! πŸ˜‰

  54. Bec

    My family has had more than its unfair share of cancer the past few years. It is the most horrible thing to see a family member go through. And you hit it on the head- it comes too young. So, hug your kids a little tighter and praise God that you made it through another reality check! He likes to throw those at us sometimes a little too often πŸ˜‰

  55. Kacey

    So glad for you that you’re fine! It’s very scary to be in that position. I’ve been there a few times in the past few years and was told the same thing as you. And you’re so right about appreciating your life more. SO happy that you’re ok! Thanks for sharing your story.

  56. Suz Reaney

    Thank God, Jeanne. What wonderful friends to hold your hand and pray for you.
    I have been there…and everything was also fine. I got as far as the surgeon’s office the last time and she had a big old needle and couldn’t find the lump. She also thought it was a cyst that had ruptured…probably because I was checking it every ten minutes!!!
    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so relieved you are ok.

  57. Allegra

    My heart was erupting inside my chest.
    PRAISE JESUS for your friends and their spiritual maturity to lather you in instant protective prayer!! PRAISE that your news was GOOD news. PRAISE that you have a heart that knows that others need your prayers in return. P R A I S E!!!!

  58. Gina

    I’m so glad that you are okay. That was such an honest, heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing.

  59. Brooke

    So glad everything is ok. I’ve been in a similar situation and had the same feelings as you. How very scary AND real. Anyways, thank the Lord you are ok — and that He gave you His peace when you ask for it. Isn’t the Lord awesome!
    Life is a blessing…and i try to remember to be in prayer for those who are hurting. Thanks for the reminder today.

  60. anne marie

    oh my gosh Jeanne……that was simply terrifying reading that…..I just about cried myself and skimmed/read as fast as I could to see your outcome!! if that does happen to you…..let me tell you; you can have my silk babushkas and I’ll run right along side you…..
    I’m so glad you are okay!!

  61. Jennifer Wright

    I am so thankful that all is ok with your health! You worded the whole situation beautifully and truthfully!! We all must be so thankful for our good health and never forget how fragile life can be! God Bless!!

  62. Tracy

    Jeanne – tears streaming down my face. I think I saw your heart. I felt your vulnerability and experienced your anxiety. My heart is still beating more quickly.
    I *hate* being this age. The age of reality. Where those things you heard about and saw in movies is happening all around us. I am going to pray for you tonight. Praise Him for your health and for His wisdom that oozes out of you. Praise him for you being placed upon my path because I need your strength in my weakness, and He knew that.
    I will also include those sweet women you saw in the waiting room. Including in that prayer – a prayer of reconnection and recommitment to His wisdom and will for my life.
    Thank you for sharing that with us…..I wish I could hug you!

  63. Modern Prairie Girl

    Oh, Jeanne—I’m so grateful that you are okay. How scary for you to go through the anxiety, but how amazing that God provided peace! He truly comes through, doesn’t He?
    Please pray for my friend Krista as she is beginning her battle…at 41..unbelivable. She’s a fighter, but it is a long road ahead.

  64. Dore Callaway

    Jeanne, I was already praying for you before I had even gotten to the end of your blog. I was plan in my head and heart what I was going to write you in comfort and to tell you to “TRUST IN HIM” the almighty will care for you, you beautiful hearted women of YOUNG AGE!!
    I was thinking how would I feel if I were in your shoes, and the closer I had got to the end of your blog I was happy to hear that all the prayers before your test and during the test was answered, the reading of your blog gave all of us comfort in your good news of cancer Free.
    Jeanne!! “You saw every ending as a new beginning”
    Celebrate her resiliency…Blessed

  65. Julie

    I’m so glad you are okay. I can only imagine the thoughts that were going through your head. I’ll be praying for the woman in the waiting room. I hope she got good news too. Thank you for the reminder to take care of ourselves…it’s so easy to take our bodies for granted.

  66. Polly

    Hi Jeanne, I’m so glad to hear that everything turned out ok for you! You are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing your story.

  67. judy watkins

    I rejoice with you! My MRI just came back clear. Hallelujah! Praise God. Our pastor is going through cancer and always tells us that God is bigger than anything that we can imagine…results from tests, numbers, anything.

  68. Zita-Mlle Magpie

    Oh, dear Jeanne, I’m so glad you’re alright. Just a reminder of how quickly things can completely change. We all need to be reminded and count our many blessings.

  69. Susan

    God is good. He keeps us grounded in ways we sometimes don’t want. Times like these make us truly appreciative of life and the most meaninful things in it. Prayer is an amazing thing isn’t it?
    I’m happy everything turned out well for you.

  70. Pat

    Jeanne, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that but I’m also happy and relieved that everything turned out okay.
    I went through the same thing. I was called and told they needed to schedule another mammogram for my left breast. Went in, had the mammogram then was told they were squeezing me in for a sonogram. I sat in the waiting room scared, alone, my thoughts going to scary places. Finally got the clear and I felt so free, so grateful.
    all the best,

  71. theartistshouse

    I am so thankful that you are alright and that you received good news on Monday. Bless you, and your family, and all the love and inspiration you give to all your readers. My heart absolutely stopped when I was reading your post and tears are now in my eyes. God is good. I really don’t know what else to say. I’m going to go rock my baby to sleep and hold her with all the love I know how to give her.

  72. LuLu

    Oh i read as fast as i could praying as i read that your tests would come back clear… thank you God! I completely get what you wrote, are we at that age things like this happens to. My mom has been ill and I’ve been thinking how can this be happening, my grandparents just past in their 90s my mom is still in her 60s why is she ill… i have so much i still want to share with her… thankfully prayer and time she is improving… another thank you God. Sending you big hugs,

  73. Elisa

    Growing old stinks…my body is starting to drag in places I never expected. But life is still sweet. Have a blessed day.

  74. Alice

    Thank you for a very moving post. I’m a firm believer that the power of prayer is one of the most powerful forces on the face of the earth.
    I’m so glad your tests came out negative.
    Enjoy your day!

  75. Brandie

    Oh Jeanne! I was holding my breath reading that entire post. I am SO glad that you are okay. Your anxious heart is also one of the kindest, most open and caring hearts that I know. (((hugs)))

  76. kristin

    I open this post and am speechless, but grateful that you
    know who holds your heart, your anxious thoughts and who you run to to be real with or praise. So glad you are ok! So grateful!
    Life can throw us some serious stuff but it is how we handle it that shows our character. You have amazing in you, so thank you for sharing your true with the world and who without saying God over and over like I do in my blog, without many words you just show Him brilliantly.

  77. Andrea - Faded Plains

    I can’t tell you how happy I am for you…and your family that all is okay…I’m also thinking of the women in the waiting room…and will send prayers their way.

  78. DreamGirlLisa

    I am so very happy that it turned out to be nothing…although I know you would have handled whatever happend with the grace I constantly see in your beautiful writing.

  79. Amy

    I had a heavy heart reading until I knew the outcome. Of course we can all understand the anxiety. So glad to hear all is well.

  80. Texan In Uae

    My heart was racing when I read your post. Just praying for you. Thank you lord up in heaven! You post truly brought me to tears. My mother passed away of breast cancer. It’s so scary. Thank God for good friends and family. (((hugs)))
    God bless, from United Arab Emirates

  81. teresa sheeley

    Man, I got tears in my eyes over this post. I love love all that prayer can do, and this made me realize my prayers are so selfish most of the time, and I need to outreach prayer more. I am so very very happy that you okay; that must have been very scary, but the best part was that you were not alone. Thinking of you today! Powerful post!!

  82. Cathy

    Oh, Jeanne! I could have written nearly the exact post 2 weeks ago. Same drill, same places my mind went to, same wait (and same thoughts about waiting longer). I still haven’t posted about it because it’s so…sacred? scary?…I don’t know. I’ve never seen my husband’s eyes as he faced the death of me (yes, we were there already). Geezzzz, I’m ok, too, and I’m crying typing this! In it all, I knew God was holding me and not surprised by any of it, but a walking faith is so much harder than a standing on faith πŸ˜‰ Yet, in the walking…groping we’re forced to cling to Him…we have no choice. And clinging to him is never scary.

  83. Kathy

    I’m so glad all is well! What a fright! Working at hospital I always feel like it won’t be long before it’s me or someone I love. The Lord always seems to know when we need prayers the most. Please pray for a nurse I work with who just last week had a positive biopsy, thankfully caught about as early as you can! Still she will have to have a double mastectomy. She is putting on a brave face saying she has been preparing for a while since it runs in her family. I pray for her daily!

  84. Dana Voyles

    What a beautiful post. I have been feeling so much of what you described here myself. Just today I was talking with a friend, and we were trying to figure out how we got to this age, almost 40. It has just flown by. I also got news of my aunt having lung cancer. An aunt I am very close to, she taught me all I know about sewing, and growing up we did crafts together nearly every weekend. I recently lost a cousin who was 36 to cancer as well. He had a wife and three small kids. Our lives can change in an instant and we must be grateful for everyday. I work in the medical field as a transcriptionist. I transcribe every type of medical exam there is. It’s overwhelming to think of all that can happen. We just have to trust in God. I just told my husband that while watching TV tonight. One week we can be doing one then, and the next our life can be on a completely different path. Thank you for sharing. πŸ™‚ Praise God for your good results!

  85. lisabaggett

    wow……….your post really touched my heart. My sister died of breast cancer at the age of 41 nine years ago. So glad that you are okay. Your post really touched my heart!

  86. emily ruth

    so glad you are okay…i just had a similar experience…lots of tests & labs & not knowing what was going on…& all the while prayers coming from all over…i did tell a few people & then they told other people & the prayers were flying all around :)…so nice to know that the thing that a lot of people do first is pray…

  87. Sally

    thank you for sharing your story… I’m sat here with tears in my eyes, not only for you, but for me, I have my test this Thursday 15th April….a 2 week wait after my 2 lumps were found in my breast! 2 whole far its been agonisingly scary, all those thoughts are running through my head, all the fear for my children, my husband. I have no one to pray with me..or for me. I’ve told my sister, who’s hugged me, but my mum hasn’t even called…i think that hurts the most right now.

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