Our oldest son is 10 and we had not had “the talk” with him yet.

I had been encouraging Kelly to talk with him while they were alone and he kept telling me the timing hadn’t been right.

Feeling like he really needed to be told before someone else did I tried talking to him while we were alone in the kitchen……

Me: (trying to be cool and nonchalant) Jack, I was wondering if you had any questions about your body or how things are changing.

Jack: Do you mean when I get hair under my arm pits and my voice changes someday.

Me: Well…not exactly.

Jack: MOM…are you talking about privates!  What is up with you and dad talking about privates so much this week?

Me: What do you mean? Your dad talked to you this week?

Jack: Yes, we were heading up to the mountains and dad told me how babies are made.

Me: Oh.  Really?  Hmmmm….he forgot to tell me that you talked.

Me: Well, do you have any questions?

Jack: Yeah….gross!

Me: (trying not to laugh) Do you have any questions though?

Jack: So where do you go to do that?

Me: What do you mean?

Jack: Do you go to a hospital or something?

Me: No, you can do that anywhere.

Jack: What?  Like in the HOUSE??  (he is now looking horrified)  Why would people even do that?

(This led to a long talk about how “yes” you can make a baby even if you aren’t married etc.  blahhh, blahhh, blahhh…pretty much me in hell…he also had told me that before dad talked to him he thought the “stuff” floated through the air or something and went into the woman)

Me: People do that to make a baby and that is one way that people, when they are married, show they love each other.

Jack: If you really love someone why would you do THAT?  Why wouldn’t you just give them a Valentines???

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Moral of the story…we pretty much stink at this and we still have two kids to go.

Secondly,  I now will never look at Valentines the same way again!

{sorry for no photos…but seriously…nothing was appropriate for this one}