That probably sounds like a really weird thing to say.
Who doesn’t believe in best friends?
So many say bestie, best friend, BFF.
Those are words I would only use when I am joking.
I would never use those words to describe the women in my life that I am closest to.
Those words don’t mean much to me.
In fact, when I hear other people use them a lot …especially about a lot of different people…my lack of using those words makes even more sense to me.
Let me rewind a little bit.
A week ago when I was with friends, in the mountains of Utah, I was talking about one of my good friends in my town.
One of the girls asked if that girl was my best friend.
I just told them that I don’t believe in best friends.
I have really, really good friends.
But not just ONE of them is the BEST!
I am 38 (days away from 39) and the truth is that my life is full of incredible women that bring amazing qualities and gifts to my life.
I have the friend that I can hike with.
The friend I can go antiquing with.
The friend that I can pray with.
The friend that knows all my stories because I have known her the longest.
The crazy fun friend that gets me to do things I would normally not do.
The friend that I can ask parenting advice.
The friend that brings uncontrollable laughter.
The friend that I can talk about my business.
The friend I talk to about homeschooling.
The friend that loves a good movie.
The friend that mentors and gives wisdom.
My list could go on and on.
I am blessed to have a wonderful group of beautiful women whose friendship fills different parts of my life..and I hope my friendship does the same for them.
For me to feel truly close to anyone I have to feel…SAFE!
So, I guess I have SAFE friends.
Friends I trust.
Friends that I can speak honestly and openly with.
Friends that I don’t have to wonder where we stand.
Friends that don’t ask, “are you mad at me” because the truth is…I don’t have time for that and if I have a problem with someone I really try to work it out.
Friends that aren’t trying to be friends for what they can get.
Friends that are not one way in front of me and then speak differently to others.
Friends that can disagree with me…and me with them..and get this…WE REMAIN FRIENDS.
I don’t want friends that just tell me what they think I want to hear. Those aren’t true friendships.
My safest friendships are the ones when we can disagree..really disagree…and we can drop it and move on.
I want friendships like that.
Nothing is more incredible than TRUTH and LOVE. Greatest combination for a true and safe friendship.
I have tried to encourage my daughter, Madolyn, to not use the word “best friend” either.
It is easy to do.
She will say..so and so is my best friend.
I want her to have a GROUP of amazing friends.
When she says best to one…unintentionally she is instantly excluding beautiful people from her life (and hers from theirs).
Obviously, I am not saying to not have your closest friends.
I have those….we all do.
I am only talking about myself and the words bestie and best friend.
For me…when I feel safe in a friendship…that truly IS the BEST!