Guys, I have to tell you that we are in a new stage of parenting and it is freaking me out!

We have our oldest about to turn 14 and he will be going to the public school next year.

I feel like I am getting one parenting challenge after another and I am making things up as I go along.

Please don’t tell him we have no idea what we are doing.

I guess that is not completely true.

We know that we love him.

We know that we trust him.

We know that we have a really good relationship with him.

We know he is seeking after the Lord.

One thing after another we are challenged with each week and it is in areas that we never had to deal with and half of the time I feel like a deer in headlights.

Really.

Phones, texting, video chats, movies…and it goes on and on.

Sometimes we make a decision about something and he will think we are being unfair or too hard.

Maybe we are or maybe we aren’t…but I love this kid and I am not ready to hand him over yet.

I don’t mean in an unhealthy crazy mom way that can’t let her kid grow up but in the way that being a kid is awesome.

Enjoy it.

Don’t rush things.

Don’t grow up too fast.

It will all be waiting for you. I promise.

Being a parent is hard because you have hindsight and you want the best for your children.

Being a teenager is hard because you want to make decisions, have freedom and find your own way.

This boy of mine is a keeper.

He has always been kind and thoughtful.

He has always asked a million questions.

He has always had a way of wanting to protect those he loves.

I feel like I am having a flashback to when he was two and started telling me what he liked and didn’t like.

How I would have to chase after him so he didn’t run into the street.

He didn’t understand all that was in the street…but we did.

How do you do this with a teenager?

I won’t always be there to grab him right before he runs where he had no idea of what was waiting.

I guess this journey of letting go has been going on since he was born.

These next four years will get us even more ready to send him out into the world and let him find his way.

No one told me 14 years ago when I just wanted a full night’s sleep that my heart would one day be breaking that our time is running out.

Four more years.

The clock has started and I don’t think I am ready.

I guess these next four years are for the both of us.

I have no idea what I am doing but I have been here before and I figured it out.