My Heart’s Desire

If there was anything I have always been sure of …..it was knowing that I wanted to be a mom.
Always.
From the time I was a little girl playing with dolls, playing house, “sewing” bags by stapling them together:-) or even playing Barbies….I was preparing for being a mom.
I think back on some of the boys that stole my heart long before Kelly.
Wonderful boys…..just not the right boy.
Boys that have grown up to be another persons right boy.  I love that.
I think I always knew exactly what I was looking for.
Kelly is many things.  He is exactly what I wanted and needed.  He is the father I always dreamed of for my children. Always!
When we were engaged I was told I had endometriosis and may never have children.
I remember sobbing to Kelly asking him if he could still be happy if we couldn’t have children.
He reassured me that he was marrying ME.
(lucky guy)
The doctor told me it could take years to get pregnant (if we ever did) and to not get frustrated.
Well, a month shy of our one year anniversary we started trying because we didn’t know how long it could take.
First time…yep….first time we got pregnant.
We were not financially ready (when are you?)  but we worked hard to prepare for our baby.
This little boy of mine was not wanting to come into the world.
I was finally induced at 44 weeks.  44 WEEKS!!!  I felt like an alien movie and my stomach was going to split open at any moment:-)
My stomach was so huge.  It didn’t help any that the maternity clothes 11 years ago were like tents.  Hot I tell you…HOT!!!
I know everyone says certain days of their lives were their best.
MY best was meeting each of my babies.  I don’t think ANYTHING in this life will compare to that.
My Jack was born 11 years ago today. He was 9lbs 10 oz. and 22 1/2″ long.
He was so long he couldn’t even wear 0-3 month old clothing.
His apgar test was a 10.  Duh…he was born at 44 weeks and I always joke he could have driven us home!
When I saw him I bawled.  Kelly bawled.  He was a miracle.  Birth…life…what a miracle and not a chance occurrence.
The biggest gift from God.  Truly amazing.
Even as an infant he had a sweet, gentle spirit.
He still has that same spirit.
When he is not here you miss his presence because he is the peacemaker.  Helper.  Compassionate heart.  He is perceptive and protective.
When I look at him now I am already praying for his heart to be like his daddy’s.
I am praying for that girl that will know Jack will be HER right one.
Happy Birthday, Jack!
Thank you for the joy and love you have brought into our home.
You made us grow up.
After that doctor appointment so many years ago….your daddy  said that he would have been fine without children.
He said that not knowing how you would bring us even closer together.
He said that before he knew how deeply his heart could love.
He said that before he met YOU!

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Comments

  1. Deborah Carlson

    Happy, happy birthday Jack!
    Oh how much you are loved!!!
    Jeanne this was beautiful and Im just like you..thats all Ive ever wanted too..to be a momma!
    God gave me the desires of my heart and He did you too!
    Barbie-dolls were my favourite …:)
    You are so blessed to have such a dear husband…what a sweetheart he is to love you for You.
    And then look what God did!! Im so happy for you and your wonderfully sweet family xo

    Deborah xoxo

  2. Rose D., Frenchtown, NJ

    It’s so fantastic being a mama!!! Happy Birthday beautiful Jack!!!

  3. Alicia @ La Famille

    this is so sweet. it’s funny how God works, isn’t it! i’m sorry about the 9 # thing. yikes!!
    my first baby was 9#3oz…so i know what you mean about busting in two! happy bday, jack 🙂

  4. Lorrie

    I can’t tell you what an encouragement this post is. My daughter has endometriosis and is trying to get pregnant. It’s been awhile and I prayed this morning that I would see God’s goodness today. Your post has shown me that. Thank you.

  5. Lolo

    What a sweet birthday post! Sons are truly a special gift to mothers (and fathers!)…I treasure knowing that I am raising my perfect “little man” 🙂 Enjoy your time with Jack – what a cutie!!!
    XOX

    ps – Jack’s birth measurements and weight were my daughters exactly! Except she came at 40 weeks and 1 day 🙂 And she didnt fit in any newborn clothes or diapers either! My 3 month old newborn that could wear clips in her hair 😉

  6. amy

    wonderful, jeanne. we love that little man. it really wasn’t that long ago when we were sitting in baskin robins eating daiquiri ice before the hospital trip. i have some wonderful pictures of the moment, if you’d like me to post some soon.=) enjoy this day celebrating!

  7. Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm

    Precious! Wow, those smiles say it all! Happy Birthday to handsome Jack, what a blessing!

  8. mgriffin

    Thanks for this wonderful post, Jeanne. And Happy Birthday to the sweetest 11 year old young man I know!!
    Can’t wait to hear all about his day!!

  9. Lori

    What a beautiful post Jeanne ~ and happy birthday to your first baby ~ Jack! We wanted children but it never happened for us so reading your words brings tears to my eyes but a joy to my heart. You are such a wonderful Mom…. hugs.

  10. Suzanne

    I hope your son had
    the sweetest of birthdays.
    I had endometriosis and it
    took four years to get preggers
    with the first….and now
    she is 16 and little bro is 12.
    Life is good! Enjoy the ride.
    xx Suzanne

  11. Christy ennis

    Beautiful post, having struggled for 25 years with endometriosis, 3 surgeries and ultimately a hysterectomy I am truly blessed to have my two boys! I love my leather cuff I purchased from you last week it is now my mantra for living, “stronger than she thought”

  12. Anne Marie

    He is so sweet…my Aidan really liked getting to know him a bit – as did all the kids – you can see his gentle spirit in his eyes Jeanne……and having parents like you and Kelly – well, he’s sure to have a wonderful foundation.

  13. Eva

    Jeanne…You have made me cry! What a beautiful post!

    Happy birthday, Jack…Happiness, love and inspiration in this new year in your life. It is going to be awesome! 😉

  14. Connie Brauer

    Jeanne –

    Ok, I get it……NOW. Duh. I was getting your blog through my email and didn’t know you had this blog so you could make comments, thus, my comment about not being able to make a comment. Then you said you had 25 so I knew I was missing something. Are you laughing or frowning now? Did any of that make sense? Don’t frown….wrinkles…..I know all about that. I’m here now so all is good.

    Ditto what I said in my email. Absolutely loved this post. We need more parents like you that show their children they are loved!

    Connie (akalou) from Sterling, IL

  15. sandy

    Happy Belated Birthday to your Jack.
    SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT….44 WEEKS!

    But, it is all worth it.
    Thank you for sharing Jeanne

  16. Gail

    What a sweet story and homage to your husband and son. Isn’t it wonderful when you find that special and right someone? I wish for that same thing for my daughter each and every day. That is so sweet you want the same for your adorable son. Luckily, he has a few years to work on it. In the meantime, I hope the woman that means the most in his life is his mom for quite sometime 🙂 Enjoy reminiscing about this day 11 years ago. May you continue to make wonderful memories with each of your children and perfect for you husband 🙂 You are truly blessed. Thanks for sharing your special memories

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