Notes From a Recovering Perfectionist

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(photograph courtesy of my seven year old)

This is a story of a girl who loved to clean.

Loved perfection.

Loved order.

This is a story of a girl that married a boy that did not love the above.

This is a story of a girl that needed to let go of some control and a boy who met her in the middle.

If you would have known this girl 11 years ago and come to her home you would have been met with a perfect home.  Perfect meal.  Perfect linen closet. Perfect music to go with the perfect meal.

You would have also met a boy that had tried to met the girl's very  bizarre level of perfection.

There was a lot of stress that goes along with getting perfection.

There was a lot of time wasted on things that really didn't matter.

This girl loved to clean so much that she would stay up until 2am (even without people coming over) and clean out cabinets and shelves and expect the darling boy to join her.

One day the darling boy was laying on the couch and he was resting upon the pillows…heaven forbid…they might get squished…and the girl freaked out asking the boy to not lay on the pillows.

He looked at the girl as if she were crazy and then said some words that would change her life.

Little words.

Words that could easily have been ignored…but they weren't.

"Are you really going to go through your whole life worrying about things like the pillows?"

I know you would never guess…but that girl was me🙂

Three children later, homeschooling, business and life I am proud (and so is my husband) that I am not that girl anymore.

Sure I wish for perfection….I just don't waste my time or anyone else's on it anymore.

Thanksgiving dinner was at our house today.

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We spent less than an hour cleaning (and it looked great).

I didn't worry or stress over this meal.

I woke up, had my coffee, started making everything in my pajamas and went upstairs about 20 minutes before my family arrived to get dressed.

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Christmas music played the whole time, candles were lit and I enjoyed getting everything ready.

My children and husband helped the whole morning and I didn't care how they did things….I was so happy for their help.

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(my niece is slowly…SLOWLY..getting used to her new brother)

The children made a Thanksgiving Tree (leaves with things they are thankful for), we took a walk and bike ride and we relaxed with family.

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In all the right ways it WAS perfect.

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I still love putting things together and I am good at it…so my simple may not be your simple….but believe me….IT IS:-)

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(my sister and new baby)

My heart has changed.

The way I look at things has changed.

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(the children playing musical glasses after the meal)

I am relaxed more and truly enjoy the reason of the holidays and everyday life…..and it was NEVER about the table!

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(Kelly and the kids showing off their muscles…and a few are even kissing them)

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Don't get me wrong…every once in awhile I freak out on everyone and wish things could be perfect..or just the toilets clean!!!

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I think this photo just sums up Thanksgiving:-)

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Keep in mind that I can ship directly to anywhere you would like.

I always wrap every package beautifully with ribbon, tags and flowers.

I promise that I will wrap it perfectly🙂

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Comments

  1. Julie M.

    I’m glad that you had a lovely Thanksgiving! How funny to have snow for Halloween and t-shirt weather for Thanksgiving! We had rain and drizzles…but a wonderfully beautiful day!
    : )
    Julie M.

  2. Lori

    Jeanne, it sounds like you really learned how to chillax…hee hee…your Thanksgiving dinner looks like it was enjoyed very much…i love the picture of your niece shoveling in hers…she really is adorable!!!

  3. sharron

    This could have been my story.
    I am so happy that you are Blessed and that you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!
    Your dining table looked fabulous!!!

  4. traci

    well everything looked perfect in the pictures – love and laughter was shining through. glad you had a great thanksgiving.

  5. Jen@thecottagenest

    Isn’t it a great feeling to let go of the little stuff? I love how much more I enjoy life when I’m not stressed about stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run. Your day sounds like my kind of perfect!

  6. Sabrina

    Everytime I read your blog, I just really like you more and more. 🙂 I loved your post about friends and this is such a good one too. I used to be the same way about having everything PERFECT. But I’m learning to let go. As long as people laugh, eat and have fun at my house, who cares if I don’t get all the dust bunnies off the floor?
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  7. T

    Sounds like the perfect day to me!!! Looks like the weather was beautiful there, it was soooooo cold here!

  8. mkg

    The preparation, the table, the meal, the play, the family time, the fun, the hearts, the meaning….all sounds perfect!! Wish I could have been in 2 places at one time yesterday. Love you all.

  9. Becky @ Farmgirl Paints

    Girl I don’t know what you are talking about… it all looked pretty perfect to me! Gorgeous table, beautiful pics, perfect new soft baby, cute hottie husband;) Looks like you all had a wonderful day friend…love the walk. We took one too…was a little nippy:)

  10. heather

    A day well spent! Happy belated Thanksgiving and to letting go of things that don’t matter. But if you ever get the urge to clean cupboards out at 2am you are welcomed to mine. 😉

  11. april francom

    WOW, that sounds exactly like me….although, I haven’t learned to let go yet 🙁 Maybe someday!! I have a great husband and 4 little boys who are wonderful at putting up with me. Your table looked great! Happy Thanksgiving

  12. lorraine lewis

    I have been so busy but I have missed visiting such sweet and inspiring blogs I had to sneak away- your story sounds way too much like me and my hubby 🙂 Your Thanksgiving looked like it was a fun day I hope it was wonderful.

  13. Lemonade Makin' Mama

    I swear you and I could be soul sisters… I could have written almost every word here, with the exception of the fact that the actual meal was at my parents house… We continue our celebration at my house after the meal with what we call the “After party” with the grown siblings and their kids only…
    Amazing how when our hearts change, we relax just a LITTLE bit more… So glad you had fun.

  14. Leah C

    You just wrote the story about my husband{not a perfectionist} & me{the perfectionist/control-freak}! But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to relax…a little;) Like you, I’m learning there are more important things than trying to be perfect. Your Thanksgiving day sounds like it was wonderful…& pretty darn close to perfection:)

  15. Bravo for you Jeanne to actually enjoy the day and not let the cleaning and prep exhaust you before your company actually got there! I am trying to be better also ~ I know it takes self control and lots of time. I love the thankful tree and that picture of the pie ~ priceless.

  16. Lara Blair

    I love that you were willing to make difficult changes that could transform your life…what a gift to be able to recognize it and turn the ship around. Fantastic!
    Your table was beautiful (love that dining room) and the family pics were delightful…looks like a *perfect day*
    🙂
    Happy weekend~
    Lara

  17. Heather

    You just described me! I have been married 10 years and it was very hard for me to NOT have everything perfect. I too, had to meet my husband in the middle( more on his side). I was driving myself crazy. I saw it rubbing off on my son. I had to find a happy medium between obsessing about what things look like and just letting things be. I still think one day I will have a perfectly clean house when my son has moved out and gone to college. I hope!

  18. paige

    i am so with you
    i hope that trying to simplify my environment, less clutter, therefore less to dust ( HA!) has helped. but i’m so with you.
    i’ve tried to relax a little but i’m the same. order has always equeled peace for me.
    as my family has grown , order has bumped down the list.
    dont get me wrong, i love a day when my laundry room is empty & the toilets have that fabulous clorox smell & no smudges on the windows..blahblahblah…but this girl is tryign to let go of the perfection delusion too.
    sounds like you’ve done a wonderful job!!
    xo

  19. Nancy

    Your post struck a cord in my heart….I too used to be like that. I would spend so much time fussing and stressing until my brother said to me “Nancy, don’t you have time to sit down and have a cup of coffee with me and visit?” and that was a defining moment. The people are more important than anything! I’m glad you’ve come full circle and looks like you had a wonderful celebration with your beautiful family!
    Hugs, Nancy

  20. meg duerksen

    i have never been a perfectionist. and sometimes i wish i was….even just a little.
    i love having my family around me and helping me. at our thanksgiving i kept thinking “don’t stress…this is NO big deal….” trying to send vibes to my mom. 🙂
    it’s about family. not the stuff or the decor.
    i got my package! oh i LOVE LOVE LOVE it jeanne.
    that robin bird is so perfect. and my bag? oh boy do i love that?!
    i was so happy. 🙂
    it was just great.

  21. koralee

    Your Thanksgiving looked amazing. I too try not to stress anymore..just enjoy the moment that God has given us. Pillows will always need fluffing. I am off to visit your shop. xoxox

  22. Suzen

    OMG! Your little brown-eyed niece is nearly edible she is so adorable! Love the Thanksgiving tree idea. And your dining room looks just, well, perfect!
    And I can attest to your wrapping and presentation, since I have one of your bags. I was bowled over by your thoughtful and lovely packaging.
    And finally, you and your husband are just the cutest couple. No wonder you both fell in love in, what did you say?, ten minutes?
    Have a wonderful and relaxed holiday season! Love, Suzen

  23. Janet Doherty

    Jeanne…it looked like the perfect day.
    I too have learned to let things go…there is so much more in life than perfection. Besides…its normal to live in your house, what else is it there for?
    Saw your comment on facebook…again I will be praying for Kelly…please let us know.
    Love and friendship
    Janet

  24. jamie

    love
    love
    love your post.
    and your table looks perfect to me.
    i think i need to order something from your shop just so i can see how pretty it is packaged.

  25. Melissa Gruber

    love this post of yours…just reading it now, but i have had to learn to let things go as well…it is hard and i still stress out over the little things at times, but i am really learning to let it go…i have to with 2 year old twin girls!
    thanks for sharing!

  26. Tara

    I think I could have written this post…but unlike you, I am still a major work in progress, but I am getting better, one step at a time…right? I also think if you inserted the pool man in place of your hubbie we could be living parallel lives…the pool man loves his bike and plays like he is 12 all the time…I love that boyish side of him. Gald you enjoyed your day..and didn’t let the little things bog you down! your table looked….oh dare I say it…perfect!

  27. Barbara @ Southern Lady's Vintage

    What a wonderful post! By the looks of things your Thanksgiving was a wonderful one!! I love the title of your blog. A bushel and a peck! When I was a little girl I would ask my Daddy how much he loved me and that is what he would always say! I love you a bushel and a peck….and a hug around the neck.

  28. Laurel

    Love this post – there is so much that I can relate to and am learning what my kids really want. Your Thanksgiving looks fun.

  29. Jennifer

    Jeanne!! That was me too!! my dog taught me!! I’m just glad I was ready to hear it !! I’d rather have his muddy footprints than not have him in my life…

  30. the wild raspberry

    good for you jeanne~~i know that this is so hard to do~~it’s a struggle of mine as well.
    my hubbie once said “you know, we actually LIVE here”
    sounds like you have learned to embrace the important….and let small stuff go.
    glad you had a wonderful thanksgiving.
    hugs~
    chasity

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