Perspective Changes Everything

Perspective_Page_0

This is the post on dreams that I hope I can express the way I want to.

I have the thoughts in my head and heart and I hope it all comes across the right way.

I remember very clearly years ago having a bad day.

Not a bad day in the whole scheme of things…just one of those days when I was listening to myself and not talking to myself:-)

One of those days when nothing was right in my head and heart.

We all have those days.

I was complaining to myself about the dishes, the laundry, cleaning, the children, time for myself….

It wasn't pretty!:-)

What I remember about that day was hearing very clearly in my head….

"Thank me, Jeanne."

What?

"Thank me!"

Thank me for a new washer and dryer to clean all those clothes.

Thank me for your husband's amazing job that supplies the money for the clothes and home that you get to clean.

GET to clean.

Thank me for your three healthy children that were your heart's desire.

That day many years ago changed me.

I know that sounds extreme…but it did.

I don't allow myself to go down THAT road. 

That whining…self pity.

Focusing so much on myself that I actually lose perspective. 

At least I know I am better at stopping it sooner than in the past.

The truth is that when I am cleaning our home, staying home with our children, playing and being a mother to our three children, making dinner, loving my husband, washing the clothes…I am living one of the biggest and greatest dreams of my life and my heart.

As long as I can remember I have DREAMED of being a mom.

I HOPED that I would be able to stay home with those children.

It was the desire of my heart to take care of a home, my children and husband.

When I would change my mind a million times on majors and career paths…that one DREAM was always the same.

That was my first dream……before  my business, creating, teaching or speaking.

Some have wondered why I don't do more shows.

I have had to tell some retailers that I can no longer supply some of the things I have in the past because I am trying to focus on new areas.

I do not spend hours a day on line, on blogs or networking.

There are many things that I DO NOT do every day to promote or advance my business because what I am doing right now at home can never be done again.

I am OK saying no right now to a lot of this…. because I KNOW that there will be time soon when I can say yes.

If I gained everything professionally and messed up everything at home I would have failed at what matters most to me.

Perspective.

It really changes everything.

Sometimes as we are following our dreams…that dream can cloud our vision to the OTHER dream we are already living.

Don't get me wrong…I have so many ideas and plans. 

I have so many things that I want to create.

But nothing….and I mean NOTHING has ever made me more content and happier than on the days when I know I am doing things right with the kids and my husband. 

I am so grateful that the Lord spoke so clearly to me those years ago.

I see women all the time that are constantly complaining about their children, staying home with them or talking negatively about their husbands.

They have forgotten that they chose that life…and it was their first dream. 

A dream worth dreaming, planning, living…will not fight against the life you have created with your family…it will enrich it.

It will run parallel.  Both dreams will grow and change together.

There will be a day (probably a lot sooner than I realize) that I will be able to give my second dream more time and energy.

For now I am so happy and content to create, travel, teach and speak when time allows.

So many things have already happened in the past two years since this journey has begun that promises me that more will come.

As you are following your dream…just don't forget about the most important people in your life.

That dream will not be as sweet without them by your side.

********************************************

Bird2
There is one thing I would love for you to do this week.

I would love for you to write a letter to your younger self.

What have you learned and where do you still want to go?

What could have been made easier?

What was harder than you expected?

What dreams do you still carry in your heart that are begging to be set free?

What dreams have you lived and accomplished?

Write whatever you want…..the things you wish you would have known.

Next week is the last in the series on dreams.

I hope you will join me.

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Comments

  1. The Beautiful Life

    Hi Jeanne, What a fabulous post. You are doing exactly what i did for years while Olivia was at home and I was schooling her and even after she entered public school for a while, I still kept things hemmed in enough that no one at home ever felt any impact (negatively) of my business. I can tell you that it IS honored by God when we keep our lives in line with his plan for the family. As He wills, there IS time for “the dream” and there IS time for the “new you” after the kids are “grown”. 🙂 He only asks us for a few short years and even though sometimes it seems they pass so slowly when there is a big dream in our hearts waiting to be birthed, He asks us to first nurture and care for our homes/families, as they truly count for eternity.
    Thanks Jeanne — thank you for this beautiful post.
    By the way, I’m so glad to be back today (finally) able to view your blog for the first time in ages…. it seems God has allowed my Typepad blog viewing problems to go away — perhaps just so I could read today’s post. 😉
    Cool how He works that way,huh?
    Love ya,
    Ruth

  2. lissa

    mornin’ sunshine~ 🙂 Beautiful post! Isn’t that just how God works? I love that part where you clearly heard him say, “thank me Jeanne.” Having a grateful heart changes everything.

  3. traci

    what a beautiful post jeanne. you have nailed this one. i am on the other end, then end where i have more time to do and explore my desires. my kids need me less and less. i am so thankful for all the time i was able to be there for them and spend time doing the mundane chores that need to be done. enjoy your time being Mom. your time will come and it will be kind of bittersweet. xo!

  4. Beth Swanson

    Jeanne,
    Your blog provides me with so much inspriation. I realize you are sharing your words with so many, but at times it seems to be directed just to me. I appreciate the time you take to share such beautiful posts and want you to know that I look forward to hearing what you have to say.Your perspective on things is realistic and honest.
    I have had my own business now for over 20 years~ doing what I love( buying and selling shabby, chippy, rustic , worn primitive and battered vintage, junk/ antiques).Funny thing is, it was never actually my DREAM. Apparently it was there all along and it took me awhile to realize that I was going to be making a living doing what I love. A year after graduating high school I opened a store and learned ALOT on the job. I have recently realized how lucky I am to have been working all these years for something that brings me so much joy. It is truly my passion.
    Your blog post on dreams made me realize something else~ I haven’t really dreamed in along time. It made me want to reach higher for new goals in my life and business. It’s so easy to just live the day to day and be satisfied to make it thru. I feel encouraged to sit and reflect on where I want to go.
    Thanks again for your uplifting words of wisdom. I LOVE your blog!
    Smiles,
    Beth

  5. Lisa Leo

    Jeanne,
    That was a great post – and I can testify to the truth of it all. You see, my children are grown and gone from my home – I miss them terribly and look back at the years they were here as the best years of my life. And I NEVER have regretted the decision my husband and I made that I would stay home and raise them. Sure, we did without a lot of things that our friends had, but now I can’t even remember what those things were. Nor do I care. Instead I look at my adult children and know that God helped me raise two outstanding human beings. Thank you Jesus!
    Blessings,
    Lisa

  6. Theresa Hein

    So well said, your words are so uplifting and inspirational. I am a stay at home mom who loves being a mom. Really and truly it is my calling I know. My husband and I made a concious decision when we got married and the kids started coming along that one of us would always be home with them. For awhile, years ago when he went back to school I babysat when he was in class and waited tables when he studied at home. It wasn’t easy but I never regretted it for a minute. Now as my older kids move out I am so glad I was there and am here for my younger ones. I too have a dream for my business but it has to work around them, they come first. Your series on dreams has been so uplifting, thank you, Theresa
    p.s. I love your blog and I use the pop out player to listen to music while I work… again thank you!

  7. Leah C

    Beautiful words coming from your heart:) And it’s as if you took a peek into my heart, too. I am living my dream, the one true dream that matters most: being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of my family. Sure, I have “blue” days, but I get to live & share each day with the people I love most: my husband & children. And that is a blessing every day!

  8. Amy Muffoletto

    I have given myself a word for each year….I started this last year when I realized my perspective was so out of wack….So my word last year was….Perspective….Looking at life through God’s Perspective and letting him be in control and not me. Wow what a year it was. Your words are a big part of my heart I just don’t know how to get it all out on paper….I am so used to just bottling everything up I guess. I love this little dream series you are doing…It is helping me to break that cycle. I know what I have to do….It just means stepping out of my comfort zone. This years word is Peace….Finding my inner peace. Maybe that is where the secret lies….Getting all those bottled up thoughts out of my heart and onto paper or just giving it to God and have faith he knows what to do with it. Hugs, Amy

  9. michelle

    Great post. So much to be happy for. I’m not where I want to be but I know I will get there in good time. This summer is my 10 year high school reunion!

  10. Lindsay Lee

    This is gorgeous and hit home! Thank you for always giving me a breath of fresh air when I come to your blog! I love being a follower! Thank you! Hugs!

  11. stephanie

    wow! i am going through the very same thing right now! it is so important to me that i do my best at home…it wasnt always so…i was in a very deeep dark depression for about 8 years where i checked out to deal with pain from my childhood…and then ONE day ..i mean ONE day..it all became very clear..my perspective change and i was set free to live in the present..and for the first time i can wake up in the morning and say..i feel good..no i feel really good! im so glad to have the new perspective and that i am living my dream today…im living in gratitude and it is wonderful!

  12. Tara

    Jeanne, I loved this post, especially because there is no bigger more important job in the world than raising your children and loving your husband…I agree there are too many women complaining about their children, and having to do those things that nurture them…but they chose that path, it makes me really sad when I read their words, as those children are gifts, that will soon be grown and need you less. I haven’t always wanted to be mom, to be honest…I never thought I would be good at it..little did I know, I am the best mom I can be to my son, and I LOVE every single moment I have with him…and have put my desires and dreams aside to take care of him the best I can…when he is grown I hope he looks back and remembers all we did for him, as I am growing my dreams! :)Thanks for the words of wisdom!

  13. Lis

    Fantastic, Jeanne!! I have heard that very same voice (Thank you Lord that you love me enough to speak directly to my heart and direct my path!) As a mother of 4, I have spent so many years trying to figure out what I was “supposed” to be doing, as staying home just didn’t seem to be enough (to the world) God set me straight. I LOVE being a mommy to these children that he has entrusted ME to mold and nurture, and I am so thankful that I can wake up each day next to my best friend!
    Thanks so much for your voice of truth and transparency!

  14. Lori

    Jeanne, this post is amazing…can you imagine how different our world could be if every mother put her family and husband first…it boggles the mind…truly…thank you for the inspirational posts you have been doing…you are giving me a lot to think about…

  15. Tracy

    I’m sure you didn’t know just how much I needed this post today. I know He knew how much I needed this today. In this moment. At this time.
    I’m knee-deep in ‘it’ – and I haven’t stopped to give thanks. He is the ultimate provider and He has blessed me with this life.
    Thank you for posting this today. I felt so encouraged by it….!

  16. Beth Perry

    another good post. so true. I so many times forget what/where I came from…which was not good. I REALLY did create the life that I had once dreamed of. So, I need to remember, each day, to enjoy it and not get caught up in the trivial complaints.

  17. Sheri and Sophee~a

    Just found your blog and it is dreamy…I love how your dining room became your studio..I am in the process of doing that too. Mine will be a disguise though…still function as a dining room but hold all my supplies in the china hutch.
    Still looking for an old sideboard….to fill with my stuff too 🙂

  18. Becky G.

    Oh, Jeanne! How this post touches my heart! I was told to Thank Him too! A few years ago I had a large and rather ugly growth removed from my shoulder. The results came back melanoma. I had the big C word!
    I was okay for a few days, well, not really, but I pretended it was okay! But one day it just hit me! And I stayed in my pj’s all day and cried all day. And prayed all day. I picked up my bible and prayed and asked God to send me a scripture that would help me through that horrible time. I went straight to this: “Rejoice evermore; pray without ceasing; In everything (EVERYTHING!!!) give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16
    I started crying again, and crying out to God, “so I’m supposed to thank you for this cancer, huh!”. And His answer wss a resounding YES! Thank me! Not audible, but in my heart I knew this was what I was supposed to do. So I started (hard as it was) thanking Him for the cancer.
    I made up my mind that even though I was scared to death, that throughout this experience I would try to let every person I met (Doctors, nurses, techs, whoever) see Jesus in me. I would be pleasant and polite and even when I was hurting I would try to give thanks for it all! I had ‘exploratory’ surgery (my 1st time ever in the hospital!) and a week later the news came back. They could find no more cancer.
    That was six years ago this month, and I am still cancer free. Hard as it was, I gave thanks for the cancer, and I am still giving thanks. I learned a lot about myself. About how I’m stronger than I thought I was, and that no matter how much pain I’m in I can call on Him and He WILL be faithful, even though at the time I may not ‘feel’ it, He is there, holding me.
    Thank so much for this series, and thanks for listening to my story.
    Now, I heard about your little trip, so will you give Becky and Lissa big huge hugs from me! Have a safe journey, Becky

  19. Jennifer

    Thank you for a beautiful reminder that I am living my dream. A reminder that was there on a very difficult day. Thank you!

  20. Courtney Walsh

    I have a hard time remembering that I need to slow my dreams down to pay more attention to these little people in my house…who won’t be little forever!!
    Thanks for the dose of perspective! 🙂

  21. Gail

    Jeanne,
    I love this post so very much….many years ago now I heard someone say that perspective is what makes all the difference, how we choose to react to the daily stress that happens to us all. And isn’t it so true? You can have something bad happen or someone be mean to you, but it’s totally up to us how we choose to handle our feelings about it. “Don’t let the turkeys get you down”.
    Choose the light, not the dark….thanks for an enlightening post!

  22. AshleyR

    Jeanne this was such an amazing post. I think writing yourself a letter is such the perfect way to reflect and be thankful for what you’ve been given. Thanks you for sharing and inspiring. I’m going to post my letter on my blog.

  23. anne marie

    Dear Jeanne……
    First, your comment on my “Elizabeth” was so nice – and I so wish you could have come to that party (maybe if the next one’s at my house this summer eh?)
    Second…..this post….totally spoke to my heart…it IS so very hard sometimes NOT to complain……and I totally agree, with everything that you said…..totally……

  24. lorraine lewis

    Jeanne this was a beautiful and inspiring post. It brought tears to my eyes because it is truth. I love how you are not fearful to express that truth.

  25. DreamGirlLisa

    Great post Jeanne, I am especially thankful for the years I got to stay home with my girls. It didn’t last as long as I would have liked, but life does not always follow the path that we have laid out in our minds. I so agree that it is a gift to able to be a a stay-at-home mom, I feel sorry for those who don’t see that. I am on the other side now, a working mom, who wishes she could still be there to drive her daughter to school and pick her up after. But, I am here to say that being a good, loving mom can still be accomplished, even while working a full-time job and w/out a loving husband. Now that I face the possibility of a second job as well, I will keep the faith that the right opportunity will come to me and somehow it will still allow me the time w/ my daughters that I so desperately need. Since my divorce, I chose to put a lot of my personal life on hold, so that I could be there for my daughters, especially when I first divorced and we were all hurting so much. I don’t regret it one bit, and I know that someday, when my girls are grown and on their own, they will know in there hearts that I did my very best and they were always number one. If there is a prince out there or an amazing career down the road for me someday, it will be patiently waiting.

  26. alee b.

    this is beautiful & just what I needed to hear! thank you & blessings to you for speaking your heart!

  27. Modern Prairie Girl

    You are my hero.
    Truly.
    You have no idea how much I needed to read your words..
    “Sometimes as we are following our dreams…that dream can cloud our vision to the OTHER dream we are already living.”
    Just absolutely so wonderfully expressed, jeanne.
    It’s so true—we (meaning me) can be so caught up in the difficulty in balancing it all that sometimes things just need to be let go. Just today I was telling a friend about how many conferences I would go to if time/child rearing allowed…what I failed to remember is that if I didn’t have this family (my first dream, too) I would be sitting around being sad that I wasn’t happily married with two wonderful kids.
    These two dreams will change and grow together and as long as everyone is having their needs met and I am reveling in the wonderful family life that we have created…
    IT’S ALL GOOD.
    Counting it all joy over here in WA.
    Thanks for the constant source of inspiration. I can’t wait to look you in the eye and tell you this! 😉
    ox
    Lara

  28. Cathy

    Good words. I attended a funeral yesterday and the widow was so very angry (a common & natural response to death, I know). His wife had a life of various and horrible illnesses and he is so very angry with God. I quietly thought to myself…what about the son you were told you couldn’t have? the grandchildren you have because of that son? what about the decades she lived a vibrant life that she wasn’t supposed to? what about the home you built together, the vacations she was able to go on? And so I have been praying that, in time, he can come to see all the beauty…the years that God gave them together. And I pray I can always quickly realign my thinking when I head down the path of pity myself. God is so full of mercy–thank you for reminding me today.

  29. Dana Voyles

    This is all so true! So wise! Our little ones just don’t stay little long and we do only get this one chance to have this special time with them. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  30. Heather - Speckled Egg

    Hi Jeanne! I just LOVED this post and couldn’t agree more! My girls are my most important job. They are a dream come true, and I know that all my other creative/work-related dreams will come in time. 🙂

  31. amy

    those bold words, literally and figuratively,=) need to be celebrated more! perspective does change everything! again feeding. i would love to get back to the computer with a journal soon.=)

  32. Sarah

    I love this post! I have been taking a break from blogging for a while but I occasionally pop in and this one inspired me! I home school two of my children and I agree, there are so many things that we can let get in the way of our real dream job! Thank you for speaking truth! 🙂

  33. Heather

    Jeanne – thank you for sharing your perspective! It touched my heart and has made me rethink several parts of my life. All of which need some rearranging. Thank you!

  34. emily ruth

    such wonderful words…you are so right…when i was trying to decide if i should close my greeting card business i finally realized that people will be buying cards in 5, 10, 20 years…i didn’t need to worry about missing out…& i’m so glad i closed. how would i have done it & hung out with these little elves, too? not very well, that’s how. neither one very well…thank you for the reminder. it is a wonderful life & not everyone gets to live it…

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