I do not like to paint furniture.

Let me say this again.

I do not like to paint furniture.

Now repeat another 100 times and you may be a bit closer to understanding the depths that I will go to NOT paint furniture.

I am guessing that many of you are very similar to me and that is why chalk paint and milk paint are so popular.

It is a true Christmas miracle when you don’t have to prep a piece of furniture and you can just paint over it.

In fact, I watched THIS video by Marian (AKA Miss Mustard Seed) and she painted over dust.

I was in love.

I ordered the Mustard Yellow and antiquing wax.

I swooned over the packing when it arrived and knew that the packing was going to guarantee great painting success.

I am not a directions kind of girl….but because of my great desire for success I did read the directions and watched videos.

It may be the most I have ever studied for a project in my life.

Let me repeat for all of those that know me personally…I READ the directions and WATCHED videos.

I swear.


Kelly was working late one night and I knew the time was right to create my most perfect, chippy, yellow end table.

I knew the stars had aligned and my project was going to be so awesome that Marian herself was going to pin my table to her milk paint wall:-)

I did not do one single thing to prep the table besides wash it off.

I wanted to be a rules follower.

It went against everything I knew about painting furniture.

Before the first coat was on I was beginning to worry a bit.

The paint was already flaking off (I did not order the binder because I wanted it to be a little chippy.  A LITTLE) and I was trying to hurry to get the second coat added before the whole first coat flaked off.

As the second coat was drying I went into the living room to make a call.

Half way through the call my daughter came downstairs and said, “Mom, is your table supposed to look like THAT”?

We started dying laughing.

It was like we turned around and our end table had eyelashes and curly hair.

It was the fourth child I had always dreamed of!

By the time I was done on the phone the whole table was so chippy and flaking off that all I had to do was BRUSH all of the paint off.

BRUSH it off!

Marian was not going to pin my project!

I was pretty sure of that!

It then lead to a pretty funny Facebook thread that even included Marian jumping in and having a good laugh.

I guess there are some pieces that just don’t work with the paint.

Nice to know.

This was a Restoration Hardware piece that had been heavily sealed and I can understand why the paint didn’t work at all on it.

Marion suggested I try again with the binder and see if it would work then.

Have I ever shared with you that I don’t like to paint furniture?

Just curious!

As much as I LOVED the Mustard Yellow and the results that everyone else in the whole flippin’ world had with milk paint…..I had to go another way.

You know I love you Marian.

I do.

It was funny the first time (really funny in fact).

I just had a little feeling that failure the second time would not be as funny.

I decided to chicken out on using milk paint on this table, color matched it at Benjamin Moore (Aura paint with the primer already in it), sanded the table and got geared up for round two.

For a girl that hates painting furniture this wasn’t going so well.

First coat.

Second coat.

I let it dry for a few days and sanded the edges.

The final step was to use Miss Mustard Seed antiquing wax (which I loved by the way).

It is not the chippy masterpiece that I was dreaming of but it is done, it is yellow and it is ruffed up a bit and this is as good as it is going to get.

I did tell Marian that I would make her yummy coffee and talk with her if she would fly to my house to fix my disaster.

Hmmm….so weird that she never showed up.

I make really good coffee!

I have some of the milk paint left and I will maybe (MAYBE) try it again on a more raw piece.

Oh, who am I kidding?!

How about I pay one of you to come to my house and do it?

Have I ever mentioned I don’t like painting furniture?


Quick shop news…

The Elsie Linen Messenger Bag is back in stock!