Time To Date Again

 An average day is from the moment I wake up I am already thinking of all that NEEDS to be done.

Clothes are waiting to go into the washer and waiting to be folded from the dryer.

The children are waiting for breakfast.

Dishes are waiting to be emptied from the dishwasher.

There is usually something spilled on the floor that everyone denies having ANYTHING to do with…and somedays go on like this until it is bedtime and I wonder where the day went.

I am too tired to create or pack up orders.

I am too tired to read that book that has been on my nightstand for a month.

Oneour recent trip to Illinois my husband drove the WHOLE way and I read the WHOLE way.

At my feet were all the books and magazines that I was going to catch up on.

With children in the back seat watching movies I was in heaven reading, notetaking and journaling.

At some point I turned to my husband and said, "I think I am going to start dating myself".

Now I will not lie and act like I don't get out of the house to do tons of things…because I do.

You all know that I have an awesome husband and I have been able to travel and see friends all of the time.

I also get together with my friends here all of the time.

The point I was making is that I don't spend a lot of time WITH JUST ME!

I changed that THIS week.

We homeschool our children and we just started back this week.

All three of my children go to a local enrichment school once a week (Benjamin just started their preschool program).

On Thursday when I dropped them off all the other mother's were talking about their days and how they were going to maybe workout, run errands, clean the house etc.

NOT ME.

I told them I wasn't even going home.

If I went home I knew I would not create or read all those wonderful things I wanted to read.

I knew I would get distracted by laundry, dusty furniture, the dishes and all the little things in our home that needed to be done.

I was going to spend time with just me.

No friends were invited….even though this went against everything in me (and thank you for the friends that wanted to get together).

I first quickly headed into Home Depot for paint.

I then went to the Starbucks drive thru for a venti, iced, unsweetened green tea.

I then headed to "The Rock" here in Castle Rock and ran to the top…took a break at the top and then ran back down.

I REALLY love trail running.

I love the sound of the gravel under my feet.  It beats any Ipod playlist I could ever come up with.

It has been a few months since I have been serious about working out (I would like to personally thank France and all the cheese and desserts).

So lets just say that I  could feel a lot more jiggling on the way down the hill and I was still smiling.

I then headed over to a local cafe and ordered a large iced latte (I only do this about once a week now) and a large bowl of fruit.  They later brought me a bowl of soup as I sat there and read and read and read…ALL.BY. MYSELF!

I then closed up my books and headed to a move.

I have only gone to a movie by myself ONCE in my life. It was back when Kelly and I lived in DC and I was sooo mad at him and I needed to waste some time (this was back in our first year of marriage and I will write about THAT someday).

Have you ever gone to see a movie by yourself?

It was awesome.

I have to admit that I was giddy all day with my date with myself.

I laughed so loud and hard at some of the lines in the movie and I was VERY aware of my laughter in this theatre with only three other people…and it was OK.

I finished my date with myself by reading a little more and journaling at Starbucks waiting for it to be [3:15] so I could pick up the children.

It was a good day.

I am not that bad of a date.

Even if it just a walk by yourself to think….make a date with yourself.

It is really quite wonderful to be alone.  I hope to be better at this.

My friend Molly (who by the way is super cool, HILARIOUS, amazingly talented) recently posted this video and I LOVED it and thought it was the perfect compliment to what I have been sharing today.

Enjoy.

Maybe we will all get a little more comfortable with being alone:-)

 

 (please pause my music player before watching)

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Becky @ Farmgirl Paints

    I struggle with being alone. The first thing I want to do is pick up the phone. I kept busy this week…with people. Filling every lonely minute with conversation. I am really aware that I need to learn how to be alone again.
    Football season has started and I’m going to use that evening time to catch up with my own pile of reading. Kind of looking forward to it. BTW can’t imagine running up that mountain. It would be the end of me! You rock.

  2. elisa

    I hope you didn’t forget to talk to yourself real loud so that other’s could look at your weird. Good for you for making a stand for yourself.
    I love this idea. With 5 kids, 1 grandson, and a hubby here….I think it’s time to do the same.
    Have a great day.

  3. Pam

    I LOVE THIS POST!
    I often feel women especially don’t know themselves. After I traumatizing breakup at the end of my college years I was 13 hours away from my family and on my own. I decided rather than sit at home w/ no one to do anything with I would go out on my own. Movies, the bookstore, parks, the coffee shop and surprise, eventually you meet people. I hate to see people who can’t even stand in a line somewhere without having to bore-dial someone. You truely get to know yourself and others will want to know you too. No one saw me as “that poor girl” by herself, they saw someone who was confident enough to not need a sidekick. I truely learned a lot about myself that first year and now thank the guy who caused such heartbreak, because the girl he crushed is definately no the woman who was trapped and waiting to get out! You should definately date yourself more often ladies! Much love.

  4. Amy Muffoletto

    Finally I find someone who understands why going to the movie alone is so amazing… There is freedom in hanging with yourself and I am just recently comfortable in my own skin and all alone… Even though I have so many responsibilities it is so very okay to spend sometime with just me. Love this post. You inspire me to the depths of my heart. Love you!

  5. molly

    oh hells yeah, lady! that sounds like an amazing day…
    i once wrote about my ideal saturday and everyone that left comments on it were of the same voice “yes to doing right by yourself”! sounds like you got it down… good for you, j.

  6. Lisa

    I love this post, because I am true believer in spending time w/ ourselves. I do this whenever I can, and although I love to spend time w/ my friends and kids, sometimes I do just need to be w/ myself. I love going to B & N, get a coffee, and just read magazines or books and bring a notepad and jot down recipes, quotes, websites, etc. I have also seen many movies alone, and I love it! I haven’t done it in a while, so I think I am due…thanks for reminding me how good it is to spend time w /me!
    P.S I think that when you truly love who you are, you can easily spend time alone w/ yourself 😉

  7. lulu and family

    “alone is healing, if you let it.” love that.
    sweet, jeanne. such a good idea to find joy and peace “there” more often. many things shared in the video remind me of many, special times mostly during college years getting around “alone” but sharing amazing interactions with strangers doing their thing, too, like “speaking” and laughing w/ a spanish woman at a bus stop although we each couldn’t speak the other’s language.
    it has been along time since i have slowed down that much. i need to start dating myself again!=)

  8. Stacey

    Awesome!!! So glad you had so much fun all by your wonderful self!!
    This is something I should do. Maybe I could learn to just be ok with me…not that I am not thankful for me…but so often I feel a disconnect…maybe this would be the necessary reconnect! Thanks for the inspiration Jeanne!!!

  9. Leah C

    I am, by nature, a shy keep-to-myself kind of person{outside of family}, so I get alone time alot. But, like you, I get distracted by things I need to do {laundry, errands, etc} and I don’t really “play” much…time to change that:) Dating myself; what a novel idea!

  10. emily ruth

    i adore this! & the video was so wonderful! i love doing things on my own & a movie by myself is the best!
    i also love being with my friends & lots & lots of people butn there’s something about being alone that can’t be duplicated…balance is good 🙂
    i am, however going to start calling it ‘dating myself’…you are so great 🙂

  11. Lee Ann

    Her video was so soothing! Good for you dating yourself. I usually do a coffee shop, book store every few weeks with my journal and books in hand. Love going also to a close by State Forest now and then to walk and then sit and journal. It’s such a wonderful refresher for my soul. Of course our children are raised and gone from the nest so I have much more time than you.

  12. Brooke

    My husband and I talked about this about a week ago. I’ve been struggling with feeling like I have time to remember who I am because of constantly doing what I need to do for everyone else (which isn’t bad, it’s just what it is). We decided it would be good to have a date with myself every once and awhile too 🙂 Glad you had an awesome time and I hope to do the same soon.

  13. deborah

    i started doing this out of necessity, years ago and now look forward to the time alone. i never take my running shoes on my dates. maybe i should? 🙂

  14. Wirda

    Ive heard this…and I love t…except it wasn’t a video… so Im so glad you shared this with me… Its beautiful, meaningful… and close to the heart.

  15. Traci

    good for you sweetie. it is very important. i have been dating myself for a few years now. it is good for the soul!!

  16. Mikal

    This has been the best thing I’ve recently started for myself… it was very awkward and uncomfortable at first because it’s not the norm for many of us.
    LOVE the video and the first song on your playlist!

  17. Alicia

    I love being alone, but it seems like it never happens. This post reminded me of that scene in “Date Night” with Tina Fey when she says she doesn’t ever fantasize about other men but about being alone…and eating cereal alone. Ha! I can definately relate!!

  18. Suzen

    You are so right about this! Julia Cameron talked about it in her book, The Artist’s Way, and she called it and “artist’s date.” It seems like we are OBSESSED with busyness and avoiding knowing ourselves. Yet this is a very powerful spiritual path. I love to be alone and also to see movies alone. You’re not supposed to be talking in there, anyway! Eating in restaurants alone, I have not mastered. I have read that French women spend time alone in cafes people watching on a regular basis. I love that! I was a little nervous about the walking in the woods alone part of the adorable video. Perhaps borrowing a large dog to take along would make it safer. (Wish I didn’t have to think this kind of stuff.) I also liked that you made the proclamation and then just set your boundaries and TOOK the time. Thanks for this enlightening post, Jeanne! XOXO Suzen

  19. nadine johnson

    Does having two dogs count for being alone? I love it some times when my husband goes out of town for a week. I can craft in my P.J, eat what ever I want , when ever I want . No T.V!
    Nadine Johnson

  20. Brandie

    Love this Jeanne! I so need to so this. I am only completely kid free 2 days a week for 3 hours but I am going to have a date with myself and see if I am still a good date;) Maybe I’ll share my day too if it goes well!

  21. LuLu

    I haven’t done the movie thing but after my London trip and I spent my days alone while my husband was working I LOVE IT… my mind was so clear… my thoughts flowed and I really SAW the world around me… people watched. I love being home alone… it’s like a party when they are all out of the house at the same time.. i love to just listen to the silence… and cringe when the phone rings.. cause i have to answer it… it may be important. Great video, thank you for posting it. it went great with your post.
    Bravo to you and nurturing yourself… you are a wonderful role model,
    xo,
    LuLu

  22. susan

    jeanne, this is so timely for me. i took my baby to his first day of pre-k today. i came home, cried & wandered around the house. i haven’t been alone in nearly 11 years and i had no idea what to do with myself. my first instinct is to pick up the phone. i mostly kept busy with cleaning and laundry. but since this will be three days a week i really need to figure out how to be by myself again. thanks for sharing your day with us 🙂 susan

  23. Kathryn

    People are always amazed at how comfortable I am in my own company. So many people aren’t for whatever reason. They worry that I’m lonely but as odd as it sounds I love my own company. Sounds like you had the perfect date, here’s to many more.

  24. Amy

    I absolutely love being alone. Perhaps it comes from being an only child and growing up in the country with no neighbors. I am quite content to spend time alone. I am planning a trip out of town soon just for the night to the town we just moved from (gotta get a haircut!). I plan on staying in a hotel instead of with friends just so I don’t have to coordinate with anyone else. Is that terrible? I am also a homeschool mom 🙂

  25. Lara

    Go, go, Jeanne!!! Good for you, my friend. I just started having a few “artist dates” (a task you’re supposed to do each week when working through “The Artist’s Way”) here and there. I have not been faithful to it and I’m feeling inspired by your post here. I’m beginning with my ART DAY on Tuesdays—yes, each and every Tuesday, she told herself.
    sigh.
    Keep up yours and let us know how it goes!!!
    ox
    Lara

  26. kana

    I totally relate…..I love some ME time! Yes, I have gone to the movies alone and it is all good. You don’t even have to share the popcorn (I know I shouldn’t eat it)and drink. The older I get and the more interaction work and the kids and chores give me, I feel the need to be alone. Of course, then I am ready to be with everyone again. Alone time gives us a good balance and a little bit of sanity!

  27. Suzen

    Hey, Nadine, Just think of it as being in a much larger room than your living room, with a REALLY big TV! Try Eat, Pray Love for your first alone movie..it’s about a woman running all over the PLANET alone! 🙂 Suzen

  28. tracey

    Hi Jeanne! Some time to yourself to just do what you want to do sounds awesome! I usually head to Barnes and Noble and grab a latte and flip thru magazines when I need a little me time…it always brings a little sanity back to my week :))
    I can’t wait for your new winter collection…serioiusly…I am giddy with excitement!!! I hope I’m not in London when you unveil, well, Steve will have his computer with him!
    Hugs my sweet friend ~
    🙂 T

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